The best you never had.

Number two.

Second best.

To you and the rest of the world.

Someone to fall back on,
So you’re never alone.

Sadly, I'm a sucker for that beautiful smile.

And some how I let you back into my life every time you ask.

It's my weakness.

Everytime I get the strength to move on with my life,

you give me another gimplse of what could be and a reason to stay .

I trust too easy.

And get hurt too fast.

You put me through your games

Now it's your turn for that.
It's my time

Right here.

Right now.

 It's my turn to be number one

And in your empty heart I left a mark.

Cause I'm the best you never had.

 

Never make someone a priority when they make you an option.

Thank you for teaching me that.

What really matters..

My choice

My decision

My chance

To prove that I’m capable of so much more

A chance to throw out the stereotypes

And show who I really am and who I can become

Mistakes have been made and lessons were learned

But my past does not define me

And their judgments do not tear me down

For I am strong

And determined to show the world

That I’m not the same as those around me

I am my own person

With dreams and ambitions

Talents and abilities

Flaws and imperfections

All wrapped up in one

No opinions needed

Love me or hate me

Take me or leave me

I know who I am

And I know where I’m going

What you are.

A friend is someone you hold dear:
Someone who is always there, through thick and thin;
Someone who is a steady foundation.

A friend is someone you can always rely on:
Someone who is there to share your thoughts with;
Someone to listen, no matter the subject.

A friend is someone you can feel secure with:
Someone you can sit silently beside, without conversation;
Someone you do not need to fill the quiet moments with.

A friend is someone you can trust:
Someone who will guard your deepest secrets;
Someone who will never fall into gossip

A friend believes in equal stature:
Someone who lets you flourish;
Someone who is never envious

A friend is someone who is loving:
Someone who sees your perspective;
Someone who is never offended or vindictive.

A friend is someone who is not judgmental:
Someone who will gently offer advice and opinions,
Yet, someone who is not overbearing or critical.

A friend is someone who can keep you grounded:
Someone who can help you see through your obstacles;
Someone who yearns to shoulder you through life's journey.

A friend is someone who shares unconditionally:
Someone to laugh and to cry with;
Someone to lean on, through both the joy and the pain.

A friend is someone you choose wisely,
For a friend is your own mirrored image:
Someone to compliment your own self;
Someone who indicates who you are as a person.

A friend.... is what you are to me.

Daddy's Little Girl.



A little blue eyed blonde taking her first steps

and Daddy catching her when she falls.

Reading books way past her bed time

and butterfly kisses to wish her a good night.

Too many dance recitals

and a bundle of flowers each time to congratulate her.

Hunting trips

and untradeable memories.

Life lessons learned

and Daddy there ready to give his advice.

Gradutation

and a another step into adulthood, but still a little girl in his eyes.

A tear soaked shirt as she faces her first heartbreak

and her first real love leaving.

And one day he'll face the day when he leaves her and changes her name.

But for now she's still his.

His little girl.

And he'll forever be her first love

Thank you Daddy! You are my hero. I cannot explain in words how much I appreciate all that you do for me. And although we may not always see eye to eye, I know we have a bond that will never change. You've made you're little girl into a woman who isn't affraid of what life throws at her or what boy breaks her heart. You've made her strong, and taught her that she deserves the best and nothing less. You are the smartest person I know and the best example a girl could ask for. Thank you for your strength and goodness. I can only hope that one day I marry someone who is half the man you are. I love you. Always have and always will.

Happy Father's Day!

Love,

Daddy's little girl

Simple Pleasures.

It’s the crack of a bat

The cheers after a homerun

And the good ol’ fun of a summer baseball game.

The wind blowing your hair

as the rise in temperatures allows you to roll your windows down.

A comforting smile from a stranger.

Opening the fridge to find

your favorite dessert just laying there.

The phone ringing and you look and see

your favorite person’s name appear on the screen.

Watching reruns of your favorite show.

It’s driving aimlessly when the perfect song comes on the radio

And bursting out the lyrics knowing quite well

that every car near you can hear.

The sun kissing your skin as the waves rock you back and forth.

The aroma of freshly baked cookies filling the air.

A book that takes you to another time and place.

Tears running down your face because of joy.

Glancing up into the mirror and knowing it’s going to be a great day

Than ending the day on your knees thanking God.

It’s waiting impatiently in line at the store and looking in

front of you to see a baby smiling at you in her mother’s arms.

And a welcoming bed after a long hard stressful day.

It’s the simple things that make life so special

Summer lovin.

Summer.

The start of sunny days,

party nights,

 hot guys,

 water fights,

 beachy hair,

 tanned skin,

 schools out summers in

There's nothing quite like the freedom of summer. No worries. No cares. We have too good of a time to worry about what will happen tomorrow.

  When your friends become just as close as family.

 It's filled with breaking the rules, standing apart, ignoring your head, and following your heart.

 Summer is kind of like the ultimate one-night stand: hot as hell, totally thrilling, and gone before you know it.

So live it up, and enjoy it while if lasts.

California Dreamin..

I'm ready to get away. I need it. Away from the drama. Away from the stressful things of life. Away from Utah. I'm just ready for an epic vacation. And California's where it's at.

I want the beach and the sunsets. The ocean and the sun.

 Volleyball in the sand.

And not to mention, I want to learn to surf.

So bring me that summer sun, the beachy hair and that sand in between my toes

The things you do..

I never have and never will understand lying. I like to keep things real, and simple. That's the way it should be. No games. No deceit. No sugar coating. And especially no lying. And after being so close for a year now I don't understand why you feel like you need to make up stories. I thought we were past this.

The truth is the only thing worth having, and, in a civilized life, like ours, where so many risks are removed, facing it is almost the only courageous thing left to do. We tell lies when we are afraid... afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us.  But every time we tell a lie, the thing that we fear grows stronger. So why do you still do this? But I suppose I should thank you. You've confirmed that I made the right decision and you made it way to easy to move on.

"..you believe less so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself..."

Summer Nights.

I love summer! Nothing is better just getting outside. Well last night we went on a random night hike up on Bridal Veil. And my oh my was that a blast! Loved every minute of it!

"In every walk with nature, one receives far more than he seeks.

So forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and
the winds long to play with your hair."

My Nightmare.

I woke up this morning, shaking, sweating, crying, and heart racing. It was another one of those nights where you don't sleep at all. The whole night I was in a panic. Mainly because of a dream that I had, or better said, a nightmare. I spent the whole night running, hiding and defending myself from a man who was trying to take me and do who knows what with me. And no one was there to save me. It was absolutely the most terrifying feeling, and I woke up afraid and defenseless. My mom has always told me that the way a dream makes you feel is a reflection of the way you are feeling in your life. Well I can't seem to figure out where I'm feeling like that in my life. So I'm begining to think that this was more of a sign. And I know we live in happy valley and stuff like that doesn't happen very often but I am suddenly very worried about it. It was bad enough in a dream and I never want a recurrence of the feeling in real life. So as a result I've decided to take self defense. I'm a tough girl and can hold my own but up against a 200 lbs guy I wouldn't stand a chance. If I ever get into a situation that calls for me to defend myself I want to know what I'm doing. I think every girl has the mindset that someone will always been there to come to the rescue, but sadly that's not the case. There won't always be someone around to save you, and if there's not, then what? Are you just going to give up? Not me, I don't want to go out without a fight.

More then just a pretty face.

Happy Birthday Marilyn Monroe. Thank you for the inspring words.

"A smart girl listens but doesn't believe; Kisses but doesn't fall in love; And leaves before she is left."

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."

 

"Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring."

"I am good, but not an angel. I do sin, but I am not the devil. I am just a small girl in a big world trying to find someone to love."

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. people change so that you can learn to let go, things go
wrong so that you can appreciate them when they're right. you believe less so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself. and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."

"This life is what you make it. Not matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you're going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they'll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything - they're your true best friends. Don't let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they'll come and go too. And babe, I hate to say it, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can't give up becuase if you give up, you'll never find your soul mate. You'll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about."

Much love. xoxo

Just my Luck.

Well it's been one of those weeks so far. Where everything goes wrong and nothing goes right and it gets to the point where you don't know how much longer you can put up with all the crap.

It started monday...
after a random photoshoot, that involved me rolling around in mud (don't ask), I got pulled over for not stopping completely at a stop sign. luckily he let me off with a warning. Worst part was I looked like this when he pulled me over.

Covered in mud. The cop didn't know what to think.

That wasn't bad compared to my next run in. Later that night, after I got cleaned up, we decided to randomly go see this kid that me and alicia have never met. So we get to his house and go inside to hang out for a bit. About 30 min to and hour later we go to leave, and my tracker was completely in this car. Turns out that it decided to come out of gear, roll and hit this kids passenger door. Peachy right? First time meeting the kid and I put a solid dent in his car.

 Well it gets better... I found out this morning that after he got the bid, it's going to be $1,200 to fix it. Yes that stupid dent is going to cost that much. Just my luck. Ya, I'm not too happy about it. Not to mention, my parents have been on my back about getting a new job so if things like this come up I won't be crunched for money. I hate it when they are right.

But oh well right, such is life. And I suppose that it could have been worse, it's just always hard to find the sliverlining when life's kicked you to the ground. I realized it's when you are at you're lowest moments that you find out how strong you are. So life goes on and I'm sure I'll be over it soon but right now the frustration level is definately 10.