Ohana.

There's something so special about seeing life in it's most fragile state. We forget how delicate this life really is and how fast it can be taken from us. In a moment's notice someone we love can be diagnosed with cancer, injured in an accident, or leave this earth without warning.

We aren't given a time limit.

Say "I love you" whenever you get the chance.

Let people know how much they mean to you.

And never, I mean NEVER let a moment pass without saying how you feel.

I was luck enough to go with my whole family this thanksgiving weekend to go see my grandma one last time before she passes away. She was diagnosed with a heart condition that puts her at risk of having a heart attack at any given moment. She could make it until next summer or not make it through the night. It's completely left to chance.

5 days.

 All 18 of us.

It was crazy.

chaotic.

sometimes messy.

&

almost more then I could take.

But..

it was one of the most memorable trips.

Spending time with the people I love most is somehthing I never regret.
&

I learned a lot about life in those 5 days.

First.

Life is too short.
Too short for anger and grudges.
 Too short to be anything but happy.

Second.

There is an unspoken bond between sibling. We fight, and yell and make fun of eachother, but at the end of the day, we always defend each other. And to the outside world, we all grow old. But not to my brothers and sister. We know each other as we always were. We know each other's hearts. We share private family jokes. We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys. We live outside the touch of time.

Third.

Children are contemptuous,  irritable, envious, sneaky, selfish, lazy, timid, liars and hypocrites, quick to laugh and cry, extreme in expressing joy and sorrow, especially about trifles, they'll do anything to avoid pain but they enjoy inflicting it.  They test my patience and my tolerance, and they're sometimes too much to handle.

 But my neices and nephews are my bridge to heaven.

Little angels brought into my life to love and be loved.

Fourth.

Our most basic instinct is not for survival but for family.  Most of us would give our own life for the survival of a family member, yet we lead our daily life too often as if we take our family for granted. Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family.  Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one. 

Thank you God for a house full of people I love.

A Better Version Of Me

When someone asks... What do you look for in a guy?

More often then not you can except a response like..

Tall

Handsome

Successful

Funny

Outgoing

Athletic

But lets be honest girls. We all want the "perfect" man. I found a list I made in High School of traits my future husband would have. It really made me laugh. We are so incredibly picky, that we forget that everyone has flaws. Provo girls have this mind set that the grass is always greener, that there is someone out there that is better then the one we're with. So what do we do?
 We have options.

We keep a few boys around just because we are too comfortable playing the field.

So why is it that girls are incapable of seeing what they have when they have it?

Because we have too many dang options!

[This also completely applies to guys]

We're always on the prowl for something better.

I see it ALL the time. A demanding mediocer girl with a great guy, who gets taken advantage of.

& the girls who are guilty of this usually don't even deserve a guy of that caliber.

Here's what it comes down to.

It's not about finding the right person, It's about becoming the right person.

You can meet hundreds of people, go on a dozens  first dates, and spend all your time searching for
 Mr Right.
But what makes you think he's going to want to be with you if you aren't making yourself a better person.

I've decided I'm going to stop looking. I'm not going to search around trying to find a great guy to be with. Cause he'll come. On his own time. I hate it, but this is one of those things that is out of my control. I'm leaving it up to fate. But until then I'm gonna be working on me.
Because my future boyfriend and husband deserves me to be the best version of myself.
They deserve me to be...

Confident
Loving
Respectful
Supportive
Spontaneous
Honest
Organized
Loyal
Someone who would make a great wife
& and even better mother.
He deserves the best.

The world has enough woman who are tough;
We need women who are tender.
There are enough women who are course;
We need women who are kind.
There are enough women who are rude;
We need women who are refined.
There are enough women of fame and fortune;
We need more women of faith.
We have enough greed;
We need more goodness.
We have enough vanity;
We need more virtue.
We have enough popularity;
We need more purity.

If The Shoe Fits...

Give a girl the right pair of shoes and she can conquer the world

There are four important shoes a girl will wear in her lifetime..

Mom's shoes that she couldn't take off

Her first pair of heels

Her cowboy boots

&

Her wedding shoes

It's true a pair of shoes can change your life. Just ask Cinderella. What I really love about them... is the fact that they contain someone's personal history. It's funny that every pair I own means so much more to me because everyone of them tells a story, and has been apart of significant moments in my life. For women, shoes are so important. Good shoes take you good places.

The Reality of Fear.

You're not scared of the dark

you're scared of what's in the dark

you're not afraid of heights

you're afraid of falling

you're not afraid of the people around you

you're afraid of rejection

you're not afraid of love

you're afraid of not being loved in return

you're not afraid to let go

you're afraid to accept the reality that he's gone

you're not afraid to try again

you're afraid of getting hurt for the same reason


Think of all the things we could do if we had no fear.

"For God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of Power, and of Love, and of Sound mind."
2 Timothy 1:7


I've always had this motivation to be this perfect person that I'm not. That's what I'm afraid of. Not being enough. Not good enough, not smart enough, not pretty enough.
And I've struggled with it for a long time, but I'm trying to move past my fear. I'm trying to accept that I'm not going to be perfect, and that I'm not going to meet all the expectations that have been set for me.
Someone once told me,
that the worst mistake anyone can make is to be too afraid to make one.
So I'm making mistakes and learning as I go

&

Replacing my Fear with

Faith

In The Hands of The Lord

Life is funny, isn’t it?

Just when you think you’ve got it all figured out,

or just when you finally begin to plan something,

get excited about it and feel like you know what direction you’re heading in,

 the paths change,

 the signs change,

the winds blow the other way.

 North is suddenly south,

east is west

 & you’re lost.

 It’s so easy to lose your way, to lose direction.

It's so easy to feel like things are so entirely screwed up.

That nothing in life is going the way you need it to

I saw this video the other day, of this amazing woman who has turned her trial into something beautiful, just like her.

Watch and let it change your life, just like it did mine

I found myself in the spot of self pitty and doubt.

Down-hearted on the things in my life that weren't going right.

Little things, that ultimately won't matter.

After watching this I was mad at myself.

Mad that I take so much for granted.

I've been blessed with the most amazing and supportive family.

I have adorable nieces and nephews who look up to me.

Friends who make me laugh and have given me memories to last a lifetime.

A healthy body that functions.

A home that I can come to everyday for refuge.

And a Gospel that saves my life everyday from the trials of this world.

I'm the luckiest girl alive.

“It isn't as bad as you sometimes think it is. It all works out. Don't worry. I say that to myself every morning. It all works out in the end. Put your trust in God, and move forward with faith and confidence in the future. The Lord will not forsake us. He will not forsake us. If we will put our trust in Him, if we will pray to Him, if we will live worthy of His blessings, He will hear our prayers.”
― Gordon B. Hinckley

A Promise, Not a Label

The best advice I can give anyone, 

is to pick your best friend wisely.

I got really lucky with mine.

My best friend is

Funny

Intelligent

Creative

Beauitful

&

 Very Kind

She's also...

Out of Control

Frustrating

Complicated

&

Childish

But I would not have her any other way

& the best part of Alicia Card is that she's always there when I need her.

We've been inseparable for 4 years now and our friendship has become irrepacable.

We walk around talking to complete strangers.

Laugh for absolutely no reason at all.

Have stupid fights that are over in 10 minutes.

Attempt to dance and sing like the pros.

Have a billion "you-had-to-be-there" moments.

Make fun of eachother.

Act like we're on crack.

But most importantly..

no matter what happens,

we're always there for eachother,

through the good and bad times.
Because being best friends is a promise, not a label

 So here's to the years to come with my best friend right by my side.

Something To Set You Free

Have you ever woken up to a beautiful morning, and felt peace?
You realize you have the most amazing family that supports and loves you regardless of your flaws or short-comings.
You remember you have friends that are completely irreplacable. Friends that make you laugh so incredibly hard that you forget the bad and focus solely on the good. Friends that you've made so many great memories with, that you almost feel bad that you've hogged them from the rest of the world.
You feel that comfort of knowing you're headed in the right direction and that despite the mistakes you've made, you know they've made you stronger.
That peace of knowing who you are.
I was lucky enough to have one of those mornings.

Happiness comes in many forms.
In the company of good friends,
in the feeling you get when you make someone else’s dreams come true, or in a promise of hope renewed.
It’s ok to let yourself be happy,
because you never know how great that happiness might be.
Sometimes pain becomes such a huge part of your life,
that you expect it to always be there,
because you can’t remember a time in your life when it wasn’t.
But then one day you feel something else.
Something that feels wrong only because it’s so unfamiliar,
and in that moment you realize...
you’re happy.


Embrace it.
Love it.
& Share it.
Because Happiness is only real when shared.