Angel With A Shotgun

i've felt extremely alone the last little bit....
not just secluded but almost.... empty.....

there's not many people i can talk to and i don't think many actually care. but i'm starting to realize that God intended for this to happen.. i'm independent, stubborn, and think i can do everything on my own. but the truth is, i can't....

until today i wasn't sure just how much i could endure.. but now i've found with thanks to Him.... i'm stronger then i ever knew

i'm so thankful for His grace, love, and forgiveness...and his ability to pull me out of my hardest moments..out of the blue...

today i'm learning that standing alone doesn't mean i'm alone..
...that my strengths over power my weaknesses...
...that i'm stronger then anything life throws my way...

          ...that i'm an 

"trails are a compliment to the soul. either god is trying to streghten you for his purposed, or satan is trying to destroy you for his. in either case, it shows you are important and worth fighting for."

>>this song has been on repeat today.... tim/ne-yo you never let me down.

Choose The Risk

There are a few times in your life when all your instincts will tell you to do something, something that defies logic, 
upsets your plans, 
and may seem crazy to others. 
When that happens, you do it. 
Listen to your instincts and ignore everything else. 
Ignore logic, 
ignore the odds, 
ignore the complications 
&& just go for it.

The Voice In My Head

"Look less with your eyes and more with your heart."

Conference Weekend.
It's always a weekend that I look forward to.
Not only because of Mom's famous cinnamon rolls,
or because of the quality time spent with family and friends
but because it is a time when God smacks me right in the face with advice and guidance that I need.

I love the gospel and the constant reassurance it is to me that I have a purpose here in this crazy world. That I am more then just a number or a statistic. I am here for a reason. And that although I'm far from perfect, and despite my daily mistakes and short-comings God loves me and has a plan for me.
I've been through some tough things.
Things that know one knows or could even understand.
But I refuse to let those define me or tear down my spirit. 
The world does not get to have the best of me.
I've realized that I'm not only a survivor, I'm a fighter.
I'm tougher then anything life throws me.

To those who feel like life has dealt them a bad hand, please remember to be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let the pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place.




Invincible by Ester Dean

They Say Good Things Take Time..

You're interesting

and you're different

 and I like that 

I've needed that.

You're a breath of fresh air.

a moment of relief.

I'm giddy again.

Like the cute little girl on her first day of school.

I'm blushing.
all smiles.
&& giggles. 

                      I think i'm....

For that smile...
            that laugh...
                       those eyes...

It's that moment when you don't want to admit you're smitten.
&& tangled up in feelings 

Save My Heart by Dianne Joy Pico

Let It Play Out

A few rules: 


1.) Never stop thinking. This is so important. If someone ever says to you “you need to stop thinking so much,” call them ignorant in your head and keep thinking deeper. It is this mentality that breeds stupid people. Your mind is the most important thing you have, if you stop using it, it will atrophy.


2.) Stare into space blankly and don’t mentally punish yourself for doing it, even if it is for that split second.


3.) Don’t be afraid to talk about anything. You shouldn’t be afraid of reality. 

4.) You are all original. Every life experience is case sensitive and unique. Every time you wake up or quote someone else, you are becoming more you than anyone has ever been.


5.) Do pointless things. Don’t actively restrain or hide yourself from the redundant. 


6.) Stop rushing. Shut up and embrace the sound of silence. 


7.) Religion shouldn’t be taught, it should be found. No one should tell you what to believe except for you. 


8.) Talking to yourself is healthy. Is there anyone you have more in common with? 


9.) There is no such thing as time. The sun never sets or rises. Days and years don’t exist. There is only your life. 


10.) We will always be in a transitional phase. Look outside and know that everything will be replaced at some point. This existence is temporary. 


11.) It’s not half empty or half full. It’s half a glass. 


12.) Every now and then, you take something that you see everyday and try to see it in a different light. Renew its existance. 


13.) Everyone is a hypocrite. Get over it.  


14.) You will always succeed in trying. 


15.) We are all crazy. 


16.) We are all about as similar as we are different. 


17.) Ideas are about as valuable as people. 


22.) Numbers don’t have to go in order. 


18.) Words will always be just words. Love is just another four letter word, only the feeling is real. 


19.) Ask a child for advice. They may not know much, but they know what’s important. 


20.) Prove you’re alive. Do anything from dancing in the supermarket, to taking an impulse trip to another country. Remind the world you are still here. 


21.) Don’t take anything too seriously.

For just one second, look at your life and see how perfect it is. Stop looking for the next secret door that is going to lead you to your real life. This is it: there’s nothing else. It’s here and you’d better decide to enjoy it or you’re going to be miserable wherever you go, for the rest of your life, forever.

The Storm - Elenowen by Brite Revolution

Inconsistent Insanity

When it comes to wanting something really badly, I’ve never been a patient person.

 I want my degree, 

I want my career, 

I want my future.

 I don’t want to wait for it. 

I've also always liked to be in control of my life. 

I don’t know very many people that like to be out of control,

 but I know that I am certainly not one of them. 

BUT

Sometimes not being in control is the most beautiful thing in the world.

A lot has happened. And i can't tell you how nice it would be to be in control of the chaos in my life. it's been rough.

This week has been a lot of self reflection. 

Who i am.

       What i am doing.

  Where i am.

        Where i am going.

            Who is going with me.

Now the way i define happiness, is being the creator of your experience, choosing to take pleasure in what you have, right now, regardless of the circumstances, while being the best you that you can be. And i'm immensely happy...... i am. but some how i know there is more out there for me. i'm not sure what that something is... but it's out there.


I think i've learned that i have to let my guard down. At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don’t keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. That’s how we’re made. So i can waste my life drawing lines, or i can live my life crossing them. 

i'm losing control and crossing the lines.

Since I Met You by joshkaymusic

Refuse To Sink

I'm learning not to sweat the small stuff

 This year has been about finding strength within myself- 

not looking to others for it.

It hasn't always been this way.

I've been that girl that depended on a man,

that couldn't let go and that couldn't see when she was being taken advantage of.

I'd fall in love when I was lonely, not when I was ready.

I can admit....

I was an emotional and mental mess.
I call it my 3-D phase.
when I was delusional, in denial, and damaged.

I think every girl goes through that phase.

[at least i hope so, so i'm not alone on this.]

 I don’t know why we all hang on to something we know we’re better off letting go. Its like we’re scared to lose what we really don’t have. Some of us say we’d rather have that something than nothing, but the truth is to have it halfway is harder than not having it at all

Here's the reality of the situation:

She will chase you around for awhile; but there’s going to be a day when she’s going to stop running in circles around you. She’s going to get over you & at that very moment, you’re going to wish you had let her catch you.

Momma's always told me...

The smartest thing a woman can do, is to learn that her happiness does not depend on a man.

Wherever You Will Go by Charlene Soraia

The Sun Is Up

HEY YOU. 

Yes, you.

 Stop being unhappy with yourself.

 You are perfect. 

Stop wishing you looked like someone else or wishing people like you as much as they like someone else. 

Stop trying to get attention from those who hurt you.

 Stop hating your body, your face, your personality, your quirks. 

Love them.

 Without those things, you wouldn’t be you and why would you want to be anyone else? 

Be confident with who you are. 

Smile.

 It’ll draw people in.

 If anyone hates on you because you are happy with yourself, then that’s their problem. 

My happiness will not depend on others anymore....

I’m happy because I love who I am.

 I love my flaws.

 I love my imperfections.

 They make me “me.” 

And “me” is pretty amazing.

[and how incredible is this cover. woah]

Payphone - Maroon 5 Alex G Acoustic Cover ft James... by Alicia Zimmermann

Who Runs the World

The ones who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones that do.

Tangled Up In Silence

Love, in all its forms is the best gift. The giving of it enriches the lives of both the giver and the receiver. So why is it that there are so many people in this world with no love in their lives? Some people will say that they are too picky or that they haven’t found the right person yet. Others complain about their own inadequacies, thus being undeserving of love. The reality is, that these people are all trying to rationalize a basic fear that we all share. The fear of rejection. We fear that by showing our love, we will risk a painful ego-damaging denial. Love is not something that needs to be returned. It is not something that can be refused. If love exists, then it exists. There is no reason to believe that we are only good people if those we love also love us back. The trouble is that most of us have been practicing holding our love back for so long, that we believe there will be one person out there that we can love and so that person had better love us, or we will be forever unloved. If we were to change our thinking, we might see the lie that we have been chained to for so long. Look around you and see all of the people in your life worthy of love. You should be free to care for these people. Show your feelings through words and actions. Perhaps, through your courage, they will find the strength within themselves to escape their own cage. But even if they don’t, you will feel free. You will have let go of one of life’s most powerful fears and it will make you free.

RADICAL FACE - Always Gold by Pias France

Behind That "Pretty" Face

I love that everyone has a story.

Think of the hundreds of people you interact with daily.

Do you really see them?

or are they simply a passing face?

It's easy to be rude.

It's easy to insult.

It's easy to hurt.

It's so much easier to find the bad in others than to look for the good.

We're all so wrapped up in our own little worlds that we forget that others exist.
we blind ourself to the people around us,
and it's a shame!

  if you sit down and talk with people, you realize everyone has a story.

When you live with that in mind, you treat others with more respect.

 Believe the best in people; we’re all going through stuff.

 People you would never expect to have a single hard day in their lives have been through some real tragedies.

So do you see who is actually behind that pretty face..?
cause there is more to her then most will ever know.

Natasha Bedingfield - Strip Me (Less Is More Version) by vipvictor