Friday, October 21, 2011
A State of Vulnerability
I'm weird with relationships. I think I know what I want, and then I run. I think I run because I'm scared, scared that I might get hurt again. Or maybe I just haven't found someone I know is worth hurting for. I guess I am the way I am for a lot of reasons, and maybe most of them I'll never know but I do know I'm afraid of love. I am. I'm the type that likes things that are concrete, like the ocean, something you could point to and know what it is. I think that's why I struggle with love. I can't touch it. I can't hold on to it and make sure it never changes. So why keep searching for love?? I guess it's the possibility of love that keeps me going, not the guarantee. People (including myself) have this idea that love is supposed to last forever. But love isn’t like that. It’s a free-flowing energy that comes and goes when it pleases. Sometimes, it stays for life; other times it stays for a second, a day, a month, or a year. So i guess i can't fear love when it comes, simply because it makes me vulnerable. I'll just be glad we I have the opportunity to experience it.
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Love can be a lot of things.. And a scary thing is one of them I suppose.. But definitely not the best one.. Everyone says that love hurts, but that really is not true. Rejection hurts. Losing someone hurts. Envy hurts. Everyone gets these things confused with love. But in reality Love is the only thing in this world that covers up all the pain and makes someone feel wonderful again. Love makes the sky bluer, the sun brighter, and life just all around better! I honestly cannot think of anything better.
ReplyDeleteThere is a risk that your openness, and the heartfelt expression of your feelings may not be returned. Vulnerability can allow another person to hurt you down deep and cause a scar that you carry with you into the relationships or at least the opportunity for relationships that follow. But will you blame a new love for things an old one did?
We will all have our hearts broken and probably more than once unfortunately, and in truth we’ll break hearts too, so remember how it felt. The real question is not whether you get knocked down. You will. The question is, are you ready to get back up... And fight for what you believe in? It hurts and it's harder every time to get back up and try again when someone that we gave our love to knocks us down. But just maybe those failed attempts aren’t really meant to make us stronger or callused but prepare us or even make us more grateful and to help us recognize when the right one comes along. But this can only happen if we don’t mistake love for the cause and allow the fear or an actually lack of a return of that emotion in a previous relationship to scare us from trying again. Don’t let fear be your counsel! John Whittier once said “Of all the sad words of tongue and pen the saddest are these "It might of been".
So don’t pass up what could be the greatest love of a lifetime by allowing fear and someone who didn’t love you stop you from taking that leap and seizing the opportunity that in all reality could be the best thing that ever happened to you.. In this life and in the next.
Remember, "Love is the most powerful force in the world"!
I think this, along with the comment from Ray,
ReplyDeletedefinitely deserves the most beautiful post of the month award..
I could read this over and over again, and still want to read it once again.
Love it, really!!!!!! So true, and completely beautifully written.