I've really come to understand this the last couple weeks.
We never fall the person we should, the guy that sweet and kind, we fall for the bad boys. The ones that keep us guessing, test our limits and break our hearts.
THE GOOD. He's sooo different. He's funny and charming, exactly what I need right now. When we met it was a breath of fresh air. Finally someone I could just sit and laugh with for hours, and not feel like I had to put up a front. Things just came easy. I feel secure with him. Sounds like heaven right... Not exactly. I'm notorious for falling for those so far away from me There is nothing I hate more then a long distance relationship. It has ruined things in the past and I'm concerned that it's going to hinder this one. I mean how do you begin and build a relationship from 700 miles apart. You just don't. I just need him here. THE BAD.
I really didn't think that I'd fall for him.. I honestly didn't. I could just tell from the beginning that he was the type of guy to steer clear from. Well that plan failed...
At the beginning there were no feelings, and I was okay with that,
I wanted it like that
Well, I always say... Prepare to be Surprised!
I can without a doubt tell you that I am more than surprised..
I'm shocked.
He wasn't suppose to be caring, or understanding.
He wasn't supposed to listen or ask me how my day was.
He wasn't suppose to make me feel anything
but he did...
I think it's normal to have expectations.
Maybe that's the control freak in me, but I like knowing how people will act and knowing how situations will turn out.
This has definitely thrown me for a loop.
I don't know what to do or how to act now..
I'll admit..
I'm a light weight
easy to fall
easy to break
That's what makes me so afraid.
I'm afraid to let him in,
I'm worried he'll prove me right.
but
on the flip side...
I'm intrigued.
I love how he's taken me by surprise, and upset my plans. THE UGLY. So now what?! That's the ugly part. That's the part I'm trying to avoid.
There are a few times in your life when all your instincts will tell you to do something, something that defies logic, upsets your plans, and may seem crazy to others. When that happens, you do it. Listen to your instincts and ignore everything else. Ignore logic, ignore the odds, ignore the complications && just go for it.
"Look less with your eyes and more with your heart."
Conference Weekend. It's always a weekend that I look forward to. Not only because of Mom's famous cinnamon rolls, or because of the quality time spent with family and friends but because it is a time when God smacks me right in the face with advice and guidance that I need. I love the gospel and the constant reassurance it is to me that I have a purpose here in this crazy world. That I am more then just a number or a statistic. I am here for a reason. And that although I'm far from perfect, and despite my daily mistakes and short-comings God loves me and has a plan for me. I've been through some tough things. Things that know one knows or could even understand. But I refuse to let those define me or tear down my spirit. The world does not get to have the best of me. I've realized that I'm not only a survivor, I'm a fighter. I'm tougher then anything life throws me. To those who feel like life has dealt them a bad hand, please remember to besoft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let the pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place.
