Inconsistent Insanity

When it comes to wanting something really badly, I’ve never been a patient person.

 I want my degree, 

I want my career, 

I want my future.

 I don’t want to wait for it. 

I've also always liked to be in control of my life. 

I don’t know very many people that like to be out of control,

 but I know that I am certainly not one of them. 

BUT

Sometimes not being in control is the most beautiful thing in the world.

A lot has happened. And i can't tell you how nice it would be to be in control of the chaos in my life. it's been rough.

This week has been a lot of self reflection. 

Who i am.

       What i am doing.

  Where i am.

        Where i am going.

            Who is going with me.

Now the way i define happiness, is being the creator of your experience, choosing to take pleasure in what you have, right now, regardless of the circumstances, while being the best you that you can be. And i'm immensely happy...... i am. but some how i know there is more out there for me. i'm not sure what that something is... but it's out there.


I think i've learned that i have to let my guard down. At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don’t keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. That’s how we’re made. So i can waste my life drawing lines, or i can live my life crossing them. 

i'm losing control and crossing the lines.

Since I Met You by joshkaymusic